April 24, 2018

Psalm 33:13-22

Dona Tilley

As I sit at a vantage point of almost 3½ years since our son, Kyle, went to Heaven unexpectedly, finding words to adequately tell all Jesus has been and done for us is challenging. I have written this story ten times and am sure it is still inadequate. Our story is a “one-day-at-a-time” thing and may not make sense tomorrow.

Jesus is providing in equal measure as our process through grief continues. He has been our strength, hope, and resolve to move into our new—although unwanted—world and life, where nothing makes sense and you strain to understand why this has happened and what we are supposed to do now. All the things that were once so important now seem meaningless. Jesus is also sending people. These people love and do things you don’t even know you need. Jesus revealed to us how much a whole community loves and honors our son, showing us how all life—regardless of length—is a blessing and has an impact on our world.

As we move FORWARD, hopefully our lives reflect the love Jesus has for us all. Jesus, ever so gently, opens up the world full of darkness to the light and beauty this life still holds, delivering peace, comfort, and strength. He is restoring our doubt-filled lives with certainty, knowing we serve a Sovereign and Loving God where nothing escapes His notice.

We have no idea why our son, Kyle, died at the age of 26 in a terrible car crash. What we do know is not for one second did Jesus leave him. I personally think Jesus came for Kyle Himself. Our greatest hope is knowing one day we will see Jesus and Kyle. And until then, we do our best to live on earth, honoring God by coming alongside others who suffer. We still want to have fun, see the beautiful places in nature God created, watch sunrises and sunsets, and be grateful for all we have been given.

Someone asked me very early in my grief, if I could, would I bring Kyle back from Glory? My answer is still, “no.”